Inspiration, a concept some of us see as more of a flaky friend than a catalyst for the creativity boiling just below the surface. As a writer, I’ve learned throughout the years that inspiration, motivation and even creativity are not the easiest or most commonly found ‘things’ in the world. Sometimes it is hard to even notice. One day, I woke up with no desire to create a thing, and before I knew it, days, weeks, months and sometimes years went by. No creativity, no imagination, no progress. Obviously I am speaking solely on creating, not life itself, although I’m starting to see them as one in the same. No creativity… no life.
Harsh, I know.
This is nothing new, but let’s discuss the current situation. I recently quit my job. So, once I was no longer traditionally employed, I experienced an overwhelming feeling of disappointment in my lack of motivation and inspiration. A zombie. A plane on autopilot while the pilot sleeps through the flight. Life had become a sad, mundane, lifeless imitation of the life I used to know.
Months went by..
That isn’t the life I dreamed of every moment of every day for as long as I remember. Months had gone by.. nothing. I’ll tell you now, the one thing I never want is to live a draining life lacking stimulation, suffocating my inspiration and creativity. My most frightening nightmare.
So, how do you get out of it? How do you go from watching your life happen from the outside to actually living that life?
The truth is, I’ve gone through this more times than I can count. When I reflect on it now, I picture myself above the sky, surrounded by clouds. I wish the clouds were pink and purple, but it’s just a faded gray haze all around me. I’m up in the clouds watching myself. I’m watching my every move, every interaction, every experience. I’m not inside my own body, not inside my own head. I’m imagining what I’m feeling down on the ground. I watch myself go through the motions of life. My life is a movie, and I’m alone in the front row.
I recently explained this feeling to my best friend. He understood and asked, “Yes! I get it, but how do you get out of that?”
That got me thinking… How do I get out of that? It always seems to just happen. I’m not sure I’ve ever done anything to change it, just ride the wave, but that’s how I want to live life. I don’t want to let things happen to me, I want to make things happen. Writers write what they feel. They write what they care about. They write the things they see. What happens when the writer doesn’t feel anything, doesn’t care about anything? Honestly, force it. Force the effort. Force the focus. No imagination and no motivation calls for the creation of it. Action creates motivation before motivation can create action, so force it. No world altering work are going to come out of it, but if you force yourself to sit down and do what you do best, no matter what that thing is, I promise you it will lead to your next big thing. While you’re at it, you just might learn something about yourself. Sitting around waiting for inspiration to hit you is no way to live, and it won’t happen. Open your mind and just do it. It won’t be fun. Nothing hurts worse than when the thing that makes you who you are feels like pulling teeth, but it gets better. It turns into something beautiful. Do you want to be the type of person who waits for things to happen to you or do you want to make them happen on your terms? Choice is yours.
I made my choice. I forced it, and you just read it.
xo — a
